


The Trouble With Humans

by xbrokendollzx



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Bard is being a little shit, Humor, M/M, Making fun of Thranduil's "love sounds", Mentions of Sexytimes, The trouble with humans, This Is STUPID, lil' bit of fluff, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5451845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbrokendollzx/pseuds/xbrokendollzx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little drabble in which Bard drives Thranduil up the wall with his antics. I may add another installment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble With Humans

**Author's Note:**

> Are you ready for the foolishness?

“Apparently you perform better under pressure, Bard.” The Elf purred from where he stood in front of his large, elegant vanity mirror.

“Well I didn’t seem to have a choice, as I was to be decapitated if I didn’t meet your standards. Tell me, do you always seek to verbally castrate those that you Love?” Bard lay back against pillows that contrasted against his own skin in an array of Garnets and Russets, one strong leg propped up comfortably.

"Well there was no complaining from you a moment ago, was there? In fact, I would say you were quite…” Thranduil shot him a knowing smirk over his shoulder. “Enthusiastic.”

“As were you.” Bard smirked cheekily when Thranduil sneered at him, clearly put out that he was being outwitted. “Oh, oh for the love of Valar-”

“One would think that you have aged enough to know what is appropriate and what is not.”

In an attempt to imitate Thranduil in the throes of passion, Bard threw himself back on the bed and began to toss his head from side to side. “Bard, oh Bard My Love-you must not stop, you must _never stop-”_

Thranduil spun at once, eyes widening to an almost comical degree. “You are being obscene.”

_“My King, My Dragon Slayer-”_ Bard rambled.

“You will cease your insufferable and Juvenile actions immediately, Bowman.” Thranduil advised quietly, voice coming out as a hiss filled with promise of Bard’s destruction. His eyes narrowed when, to his surprise (because the Human would seek to challenge him until he drew his very last breath) Bard did stop, leaning up on his elbows to support himself as his body shook with silent laughter.

“Yes, M’lord.” Bard dipped his head as the Elves often did before winking playfully.

“You are fortunate that I favor you. I would see any one else banished for daring to embarrass me in such a manner,” The fine, sheer Elven fabric of his evening robe billowed out behind him as turned back to his mirror in his usual graceful fashion. “And do discontinue your imbecilic snickering. It wears on my nerves.”

"I sincerely apologize for my behavior, My Love." Bard lowered his voice and lowered his head, peering up at his Beloved earnestly. "I Love you."

Thranduil huffed quietly, feeling an oddly warm sensation fill his heart at the declaration-one he would never tire of hearing from the one who had eased his soul. "Amin mela lle." He murmured back.

“Do you know what always seems to wear on my nerves, Thran?”

“Do tell.” 

“How you never seem to, _stop._ "

“BOW MAN!”

_"YES."_ Bard shouted with maniacal glee as he once again, threw himself back onto the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> What have I done?
> 
> Elvish Translation:
> 
> Amin mela lle: I love you


End file.
